Submit, submit, submit. The last week has been devoted to researching agents and sending them query letters/pitch proposals. 

Why so many? Because according to the agents' own websites I can expect to wait between 4 and 16 weeks for a reply (other than the usual email auto-acknowledgement of receipt) although some warn that not all rejected pitches may even receive a refusal slip – so if I waited for each one to respond before sending off another query letter, years could elapse.

Here's another thing... although I have some good agents listings data, you cannot rely upon it being up-to-date. Agents depart, agents are not yet back in the saddle post coronavirus lockdown, and some agents are so busy they are not taking on any new work.

And there's more... There's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all query – even among agents working within the same agency.

Some take email submissions, others use the Query Manager system. I even found one New York City agency that only takes postal submissions – I swerved them.

Some accept attachments to emails, others want to the content pasted into the body of the email. Those that take attachments may accept Word files, some also accept PDFs but many have long lists of file formats they do not accept. I even found one that specified DOCX files only.

Some want a query letter plus sample chapters. Some want a query letter plus synopsis plus sample chapters. Some want a query letter plus synopsis but no sample chapters. I also encountered one that required a query letter plus synopsis plus sample chapters AND a blurb. And a good blurb is really hard to compose.

Then there is the amount of biographical information "about you" they require or don't require.

And as for sample chapter requirements, this can vary from first chapter, to first three chapters, to first five chapter, to first 50 pages.

As I said, there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all query.

OK, first off, whatever happened to the last two weeks? Well, I'll tell you what happened... I was taken up with spending a phenomenal amount of time writing a very few words – just 500 words as it happened.

​Why? Because I was preparing my pitches to agents for my new novel and almost all of them want an approx 500 word synopsis, with spoilers. How difficult is that? Extremely difficult because you have to capture (in my case) the essence of a 95,000 word novel in just 500 words.

The point being this is not a blurb you might put on the back of a novel – and nor is it a list of chapter heading. Nor is it even a summary of the entire book – which you'd be hard pressed to squeeze into 500 words anyway. Instead you need to introduce your hero/heroine/protagonist in such a way that the character is attractive/intriguing. You also need to summarise the story arc, including and conflicts the protagonist encounters and how they were resolved. And you need to have a satisfactory ending so the reader will not feel cheated.

You can find plenty of sources of information online on how to format a synopsis – but just you try putting it into practice and crafting it into a mere 500 words. There were just not enough hours in the day – and (keep it quiet) but I even dragged in Janie (Mrs C) who copy edits all my work (and used to be an advertising copywriter in an earlier life) and we still struggled. It's done now tho!

What the World Needs Now in these days of a global pandemic: Cthulhu emoji apparently!

Today is my birthday. I am now officially old, ancient even, there are mountains that are younger than me. But enough of that. Looking through the family records, I see I was born with a caul over my face AND I was born during one of the "chime hours" making me a chime-child. According to folklore, being a caul-shrouded chime-child means I can't drown at sea but I can see ghosts and talk to the Fae (faerie folk) without fear of coming to harm. I can honestly say I have never once had to call upon any of these super-powers during my career as a writer and journalist. 

The picture is of me, almost half-a-lifetime-ago to the day, and used to adorn a weekly column I once wrote for a financial magazine.