Urban Fantasist: Weird & Geek

Geek Stuff: Are you a grumpy monkey in the morning - just blame the Moon (and gravity)

6/6/2018

No lie-in this morning? Thank the Moon's gravitational pull

Are you tired and grumpy after such a long day? Well, now you know who to blame: The Moon. Scientists from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and Columbia University found that days on Earth grew longer as the Moon inched further away. Some 1.4 billion years ago, a day lasted just over 18 hours, the researchers found.

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Weird Tales Music: The Four Horsemen

5/6/2018

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Here's a music track from episode 13 of The Weird Tales Radio Show back in March: The Four Horsemen from the Aphrodite's Child album 666. It was recorded during 1970/71, and released in 1972. Video footage of Demis Roussos, then still the lead singer and bass guitarist with Aphrodite's Child, taken in 1971.

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Motivational Monday with Dilbert - no comment necessary

4/6/2018

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Marketing and Branding: or how you can fool all of the people some of the time!

3/6/2018

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Catch this auction for fans of M.R. James

2/6/2018

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Weird Tales Thursday: the Weird Tales Radio Show #20 is here - and we're talking werewolves

31/5/2018

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In the latest episode of our Weird Tales Radio Show (#20 - 31 May 2018) we revisit the legend of Old Stinker, the East Yorkshire Werewolf and the second anniversary of our midnight hunt for the Beast of Barmston Drain as we made our way along the mean streets of Hull.

Click on the <player> button below or find the show on iTunes, YouTube and all the usual podcast platforms.

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Geek Corner: XKCD sums up GDPR in one cartoon

31/5/2018

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Boxes - new weird fiction on the Grievous Angel

30/5/2018

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Today we have a story that perfectly captures the Grievous Angel vibe AND is another great example of how effective the flash fiction format can be. The story – Boxes – is by J. Overton who, the author gnomically comments, "works for the government and usually writes non-fiction".

Boxes
by J. Overton

The Suggestion Box at Death Valley was not the most remote on my route, but the getting there was often gruelling. Stopping for gas in Pahrump, standing bareheaded in July, the portions of my sandal’s black soles not covered by my toes became uncomfortably hot.

Inside the Valley I stopped at a scenic overlook to snack on mango and jerky.

The Suggestion Box was there like all the others. My key fit its lock smoothly. A piece of yellow legal paper was neatly folded inside. Most suggestions are anonymous, but there are sometimes tells which give away the author’s identity. This was from Old Bull Lee, sure as shooting.

“Why is it all not working so good? Get off the track you’re on. You’re barking up the wrong evolutionary and design flagpole, son, turning the good to shit.”

We try to emphasize the Suggestion Boxes are for Quality Improvement, not for literary bitch sessions or ratting out the unjust and cruel. This one was borderline, but he did suggest something, not just ridicule and preach. It was collected and placed with all the others.

Later at the bar I have a margarita and pay Tokyo prices.

“Only drinks in the Valley are in here,” the bartender explains and apologizes to my unasked question and unspoken accusation.

“I’ve paid more before. It’s on company money.”

He uses real lime. That always impresses me. Quality is important.

Across the bar a boy and his father are ordering dinner.

“Are you going to get the green enchiladas?” the boy asked.

“No,” the father slams down his menu. “Those aren’t the kind I like.”

“They have them with red sauce, too.”

“Daddy doesn’t like those either.” He picks the menu up, doesn’t look at anyone. “It doesn’t matter what we eat. We’re going to die anyway.”

A man enters the through the bent door and sits next to me. He picks up the plastic menu.

“You have bison burgers on here. Is that the same as elk?”

“No, it’s bison,” says the bartender, not looking up from wiping glasses.

“Oh. I like elk.”

The pool water is bath hot. I sit with my feet dangling.

I empty Boxes all over, collecting suggestions. My route is wide: deserts in California, Korea, atolls in the Pacific that even the Japanese skipped over in their war for Empire. I give the suggestions to whoever needs to see them. They can act if they choose. People have visions and ideas of who reads their suggestions. They’re usually wrong.

The next morning, loading up my belongings in the company car, a tourist approaches.

“So is this just what you do?” I assume she either knows from the company car or saw me gathering from the Box yesterday.

“Yes, it’s what I do.”

“How long have you been at it? Are you from here or do you travel?”

“I travel often.” I ignore her first question.

“So do these get read?”

“Sure. They get read.”

“Do the questions get responses though?”

“Those that need them.” I look noncommittal. She picks up on that.

“So is it all just a waste? Who decides which one needs response? People want to change things, improve them. The whole thing a waste of time and effort?”

“Well, it depends.” I shrug and keep loading up my gear. My sandals are getting hot and it is early. The company car’s air conditioner is mediocre, and it will be a long drive.

“You like this sort of thing? This kind of work?” She asked as I get in the car.

“It’s good for me now.”

“Are you waiting on something else? Some other work?”

“I suppose. This is what I do now.” I start the car. She continues her walk to the gift shop and broken, sandy pay phones.

Things sometimes happen after I leave and when I come back next time, years or months later, they give me credit. I’m just a courier, a messenger at best. Don’t shoot the messenger, and don’t give him credit for making improvements. This is what I do now. I try to enjoy each day, and enjoy my company car, and not think of the outcome.

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All Our Yesterdays...

29/5/2018

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Appropriately enough for someone who would spend most of his career as a journalist, I mastered the telephone (and chocolate) at a very early age

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Haircut 100 - new fiction on the Grievous Angel

28/5/2018

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Time for a surreal drabble now – Haircut 100 by Alan Garth. (And bonus points for the pop music pun.) When not shooing swans off the lawn, Alan Garth writes SFF and has published in outlets including AE, 5 Minute Fiction, Stupefying Stories and Perihelion.

Haircut 100
by Alan Garth

The best dressed chimpanzee Harry had ever seen strutted into his barber shop. Designer suit, crisp shirt, skinny tie. No shoes though.

When the ape climbed into the chair, lounging there, too cool for words, Harry knew he wanted a haircut to match his clothes. But Harry's regular customers were human, mostly: was a primate premium justified?

He opened with "Short all round, sir? Centre parting?"

"Mais non," drawled the chimp. "Ça ne se porte plus."

The Congo is francophone, Harry remembered. Gallic style, Gallic language.

"Je prends la coupe numéro cent."

"Excellent choice, sir. And on special offer today ..."

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Weird Tales Radio Show

Witch Cults, Geeks & Ghostly Aeronauts – the latest Weird Tales Radio Show podcast (episode #22 - 21 June) includes an interview with Darren Charles of Folk Horror Revival about the speakers, movies and music at next month’s Witch Cult event.

Follow this link to access all episodes of the Weird Tales Radio Show podcasts. The page also contains links to all our other podcast platforms. Click the player button below to hear latest show.

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Curated by former barrister and Reuters correspondent turned writer, award-winning tech journalist, best-selling non-fiction author, sometime werewolf hunter, and internet radio host Charles Christian (that's me) Urban Fantasist is here to inform and entertain you with news and comment on weird tales, geek stuff, tech, urban myths, and folklore.

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Geek Stuff: Are you a grumpy monkey in the morning - just blame the Moon (and gravity)

No lie-in this morning? Thank the Moon's gravitational pull

Weird Tales Music: The Four Horsemen

Motivational Monday with Dilbert - no comment necessary

Marketing and Branding: or how you can fool all of the people some of the time!

Catch this auction for fans of M.R. James

Weird Tales Thursday: the Weird Tales Radio Show #20 is here - and we're talking werewolves

Geek Corner: XKCD sums up GDPR in one cartoon

Boxes - new weird fiction on the Grievous Angel

All Our Yesterdays...

Haircut 100 - new fiction on the Grievous Angel

Weird Tales Radio Show

New on the Grievous Angel

This is Urban Fantasist

Vital Statistics

Contact

And subscribe to WEIRD, my occasional newsletter

Quote, Unquote

Charles Christian's Books

Can I copy content from this site?

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