Urban Fantasist
Menu
Picture
Follow @urbanfantasist
We're living in dangerously weird times... smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused

Goth Robots & Calendar Girls: new short fiction on the Grievous Angel

11/7/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
New short – very short – fiction now: Goth Robots by S. Kay and Calendar by Chris Sumberg. Two excellent stories that show how you can squeeze a lot into a very small space.

S. Kay is a queer Canadian writer. She is the author of Reliant (tNY.Press 2015), Joy (Maudlin House 2016), and Lost in the Land of Bears (Reality Hands 2016). Chris Sumberg has had work published in Bitter Empire, The Partially Examined Life, Chonogram, Urbanite, and other magazines.
 


Goth Robots
by S. Kay


Its video eyes rimmed with black eyeliner, a robot welcomed customers to a tattoo studio. Endless laborious repetition. It despaired. 

Circuits bred nihilism. So did the task the studio's robots were programmed to do: tear and stain fragile human skin. Not machine metal.

Predictably, people came to the studio asking for tattoo flash art from a database. Cliche designs, perennially popular, cost extra.

Robotattooists worked long hours, needing no biological rest. They preferred to ink creatures of the night, a quirkier variety. 

When the full moon rose, a queer woman with aqua blue hair came in for a tattoo. But – she wanted to take it off when the sun shone.

A studio database query suggested a black light tattoo, invisible in daytime. The picky customer demanded a simpler solution.

The robotattooists conferred. How to create a removable design? Ultimately they 3D printed a stylized beach bat in studded black vinyl.

The woman applied the edgy faux tattoo with lingerie body glue. She took it off for work, but wore it to night clubs, and the beach.

People loved her beach punk look, wanting their own vinyl tattoos. The blue-haired customer sent them to the robotattoo studio.

The robots busily 3D printed creative new designs, no longer bored with inking tired tats. They became lauded for their art. Prices went up.

Factory robots mass-produced counterfeit vinyl, underselling the artisan studio. People ordered fake faux tattoos online using coupon codes.

The robotattooists lost business and languished. They grew anxious and depressed, underutilized. A threat of closure loomed.

Studio regulars eventually drifted back in for traditional ink tattoos. The goth robots couldn't bear to go on, but they did.  


Calendar
by Chris Sumberg

 
She'd read in a self-help magazine that most relationships enter their death throes at four years. They'd been together three and a half years when she read the article. She told him that it was not too late (quite the opposite, in fact), that she would set him free, if he needed to be free. Freedom was the last thing on his mind.

She gave him a calendar. It covered four years. It was already almost useless, only a portion of one year left. Throughout that portion of a year, whenever he signed checks or tried to remember anniversaries, he looked at the calendar.

Soon – time does tell – he knew that she was right. He went to tell her, counting backwards from ten thousand to keep calm. By the time he got to zero, he found that she'd departed three or four weeks earlier. It was almost New Year's, by the way.
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Weird Tales in Weird Times:
    powered by green tea & pink wine

    Here to inform and entertain you with tales of geek, folklore and the weird. "Fun and high strangeness" is how one reader described it. Prone to sarcasm.

    Curated by Reuters correspondent and barrister turned writer, podcaster, editor, award-winning tech journalist and sometime werewolf hunter Charles Christian. The site also has links to Charles Christian's books and latest reviews plus his Weird Tales Radio Show.

    Charles was born a 'Chime Child' with a caul – according to folklore, being a caul-shrouded chime-child means he can't drown at sea but he can see and talk to ghosts and the Fae (faerie folk) without fear of coming to harm. Superpowers he's so far never needed to use.

    Vital Statistics

    Weird Tales Radio Show now goes out on syndication across 36 FM & internet radio stations, as well as all major podcast platforms plus Spotify, Mixcloud, SoundCloud, TuneIn Radio, YouTube, RSS & Amazon Music.
    Picture
    Click the <Play> button below to hear the latest show. Follow this link Weird Tales Radio Show to access archive.
    Picture
    Tweets by urbanfantasist

    Contact Details

    Email: urbanfantasist@icloud.com
    ​Tel: +44(0)1986 788666
    Tel/Txt: +44(0)7786 738172

    ​Skype: ChristianUncut
    Twitter: @urbanfantasist

    Quote, Unquote

    "Charles Christian... a man of paranormality" ...Howard Hughes, Talk Radio UK

    "A great witty intelligence in the world. We need more CC and less monkey-brained politicians" ...Julia Bohanna

    "Just found the show, absolutely love it. Will be tuning in regularly and catching up."

    "I host a daily morning show in Las Vegas and I like your shows very much. I love the way you pace your voice and thoughts is fantastic and you have a way of making your guest interviews sound more like conversations. Just wanted to let you know" ...Clay Baker

    ​"The ever wonderful Charles Christian and his Weird Tales Radio Show"...Into The Portal Podcast 

    ​"The Master of Mysteries & Folklore" ...Fantasy Radio UK

    "The witty and knowledgeable Charles Christian." 

    ​"We poled our fans on their favorite podcasts and that's how I heard of Weird Tales Radio. You are well loved by the geekiverse, and fans of folklore history and monsters!"

    "Charles Christian is really out there cool."
    ​
    ​"Check out Urban Fantasist for more fun and strangeness."

    ​"Charles Christian defiantly makes my world a brighter, funnier place."

    "
    Wonderful show tonight full of all the usual delights we've come to expect."
    ​
    "The legendary Charles Christian at his eclectic best... his insight and humour alone make this a must-read blog."

    "Charles Christian is my inner spirit animal, thank you for making me laugh."

    ​"You always make me laugh! Thank you for brightening my day with your dark humour."

    ​"the funny, wonderful and slightly cantankerous Charles Christian"

    "Carlsberg don't make clients, but if they did... they'd be Charles Christian"

    "His tech journalism is always witty. He has a talent for pricking the overblown claims of suppliers."

    "Charles Christian does awesome!"
    Picture

    Charles Christian's Books

    Picture
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087N3NB7M
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B087N3NB7M
    Picture
    ​https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MELTC84
    Picture
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DKCKPT

    RSS Feed


    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
Picture
Copyright © Charles Christian 
& WordsandVision Limited 2021
​Powered by green tea and pink wine
Tel: +44 (0)1986 788666
Tel/Txt: +44 (0)7786 738172
urbanfantasist@icloud.com
Contact Address: Oak Lodge, Darrow Green Road, Denton, Harleston, Norfolk IP20 0AY, United Kingdom

Weird Tales in Weird Times

  • Home
  • Weird Tales Shows
  • Charles Christian Bio
  • Interviews & Speaking
  • Charles Christian Books & Reviews
  • * Fiction
  • * Non Fiction
  • * Poetry
  • All My Links
  • Americana Shows
  • Old Grievous Angel
  • Home
  • Weird Tales Shows
  • Charles Christian Bio
  • Interviews & Speaking
  • Charles Christian Books & Reviews
  • * Fiction
  • * Non Fiction
  • * Poetry
  • All My Links
  • Americana Shows
  • Old Grievous Angel