How to Cook with Children - new poetry by Colleen Anderson

So I happened to mention to Colleen Anderson that I was hosting a dinner party and she sent over this recipe How To Cook With Children. Sounds quite tasty but unfortunately our guests are vegetarians!

Colleen Anderson's poetry has been twice nominated for the Aurora Award and won second place in the Crucible and Rannu competitions. She is currently editing the Alice Unbound anthology due out in 2018. Some new and forthcoming poems are in Eternal Haunted Summer, Polar Borealis, Eye to the Telescope and the HWA Poetry Showcase. Her speculative poetry collection Ancient Tales, Grand Deaths and Past Lives is available through Kelp Queen Press. https://colleenanderson.wordpress.com

HOW TO COOK WITH CHILDREN
by Colleen Anderson

I.
First you must set the lure
The lingering promise of the candy mountain
a land of perpetual play

Lace with sunshine fields
and gooey chewy treats
scarier than anything you ever dreamed

Leave a trail of cartoons
strange characters of two dimensions
fuchsia, lime and lemon skin, a species far removed

II.
Once the trap is sprung
reel them into a game
pretend you're playing pirates or war

The cage will be of their own devising
Check the lock at least twice a day
the only true fairy tale is “child-proof” 

Fatten on cookies and ice cream
Keep cackles subdued as coughs
or they’ll toughen from the fright

III.
Add rosemary and bay leaf for depth
where none has yet to sprout
Parsley is fine if they’re too sweet but watch rue

The finest soda pop helps with basting
deny them bedtime tales and TV
and they'll stew in their own juices

Give in a little, then withhold
a gradual increase until they succumb 
become tender as a well-boiled turnips 

IV.
Once roasting, skim off whales, snails, puppy dog tails
Everything nice and extra fat
Trim make-believe and imaginary friends

Add shallots and chilies for spice
Caution is required for proper consumption
Use as a side dish with a good cabernet 

If done to perfection the taste is robust
flavors of carefree days, lost youth, eternity 
Small portions only or childlike behavior may ensue
Digest well, don't over-indulge