New Fiction: The Best Laid Plans of Children and Witches

We've already published reworkings of two traditional fairy-tales – Cinderella and Little Red Riding Hood – and now it's time for the tale of Hansel and Gretel to be given the revisionist treatment. But, be warned: nobody lives happily ever after! Our author – Samson Stormcrow Hayes – is a writer, screenwriter and Grievous Angel regular who has tackled everything from comedy to horror in various mediums (film, manga comics, stories, articles, etc.). He is a member of the Horror Writers Association and can be found at  www.StormcrowHayes.com  and http://stormcrowspeaks.blogspot.com


​The Best Laid Plans of Children and Witches
by Samson Stormcrow Hayes


For weeks the Witch had known of their plan. She may have been old and frail, but she still had her wits, and her ability to divinate the near future. She knew the children were planning her murder.

It made sense. She'd long been ostracized by the local villagers for crimes she didn't commit (mostly), so she relied on the local children to help her out with errands and chores. Hansel and Gretel were simply the latest helpers, though they would be her last if they followed through with their dark desires. They would kill poor witchy-poo and take her candy-coated cottage as their own. No one would miss the old crone, in fact, the village would celebrate her demise.

But she had plans of her own. The children were young and foolish and she knew their weaknesses.

Gretel, though taller and stronger, was more fearful of the witch. She was compliant and would do as she was told. Hansel was the threat, but he was always hungry and he enjoyed the witch's sweet meats.

They arrived in the afternoon.

"Are you hungry?" asked Hansel. "We could make your favorite dish, roasted squirrel. We caught one in the forest."

The Witch knew that they planned to poison her.

"Why, yes, that sounds delightful, but I already have something cooking in the oven. Be a good lad, Hansel, and fetch some wood for the fire."

Once he was gone, she chastised Gretel. "Look at you, you're filthy. You can't walk around like that. Quickly, into this bath." She bade the little girl enter the pot of water she had just placed over the fire. "The water is nice and warm, is it not?"

Gretel placed a finger in the water and agreed. Hesitantly, she entered.

"Get in all the way and I'll place this lid over you to keep out any cold drafts."

Gretel ducked down as the Witch placed the lid over the pot, trapping her inside just as Hansel returned with an armful of wood.

"Place it beneath the pot so that it may boil for my broth." Hansel added wood to the fire, little knowing his sister was trapped inside.

"Now we need to start the oven, but something's blocking the flue. Clear it out and I'll give you apples and sugar."

As soon as Hansel leaned inside, the Witch pushed him in and latched the door. She cooked both children, baking Hansel and boiling Gretel into a fine broth.

When the children's parents came looking for them, the Witch assured them she hadn't seen the children all day, but would they care for some chicken soup and leg of lamb? The parents, both hungry, ate eagerly.

Unbeknownst to all, when Hansel realized his fate in the oven, he seasoned himself with the powdered poison so the witch would still die. She did – along with their parents who shouldn't have let their children work for a witch.

And even in the village no one lived happily ever after.