New Prose Poem: Everyone Got That? - by I.Horsburgh

Our latest contributor is I.Horsburgh, who  says "I used to be a long-term carer, and I now do casual work in libraries. I live in North-East England. I've had stories on SpaceSquid, Devilfish Review, InkBlink, the Drabble and The Casket."


Everyone got that?
by I.Horsburgh

​
This is Metro Control, with passenger information.
The train now approaching platform one does not stop at this station.
We are currently running a good service system-wide with no reported issues.
If your nose is runny, don’t use your sleeve, use tissues.
Will passengers please stand clear of the platform edge?
Your recommended daily nutritional intake should 
comprise least five different items of fruit or veg.
    
Do not attempt to enter the train after the warning tone sounds.
It is dangerous, and may result in a fine of up to one thousand pounds.
The service will be suspended between Jarrow and Wallsend on Sunday the sixth of March for refurbishment, but a replacement bus service will be running in the affected area.
Some lurchers are smooth-coated, while others are considerably hairier.

You are advised that the lift at Monument is currently undergoing repair, and passengers requiring wheelchair access should use Haymarket or Central Station.
Passengers are also advised that the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary is not a real animal, it is a figment of the Medieval imagination.
Bikes must always be folded if carried on the train.
Chris Clarke, currently waiting on platform two, your wife’s been cheating on you again.